I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am spending my child support on dildos
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
