from now on my penis is your penis
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
