i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
