No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
