when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
