She announced her abortion via fbk
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
