I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
