You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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