is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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