You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
