I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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