Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
