You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
