Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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