sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
