im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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