so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize