this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
