I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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