I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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