he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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