I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
