six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
