I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
no you cant smoke seaweed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize