So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
only you would photoshop your dick
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize