I am full of burrito and curiosity
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
