remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The uberlube is also flammable
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
