i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
