how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
