We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
