There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
