sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
