i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
sarcasm needs its own font
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
