that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
