i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
