did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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