Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
false alarm. still invincible.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
