i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize