it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
