My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
