I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
