I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
