Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
