To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
