she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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