Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
