Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
