I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
