Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
