You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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