Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize