Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
