Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
