what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
