how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
