sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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