38 yer olds are good kisserssss
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i will never coherently bang her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
