Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
