dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize