Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
