you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
