maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
