Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
